Blogging Project Runway #13: Finale

Finale time.

What I don't understand on each season finale is how these great designers who pumped out so many good outfits have so much more time, and can return with such crap. That is a taste issue, not a time issue.

Christian is suddenly questioning himself. Weird. Maybe he got dumped in the interim...something shook his confidence.

Was it me, or did one of them have to sleep on the couch? A show this budget and they can't spring for two apartments?

I just don't care about the makeup "consultations" aka product placement.

In the show warm-up, Rami is the only one who is a professional. He's the only one who will know what to do the day after the series finale with the money and with his ideas.

Do models ever arrive early? Ever?

I look at Christian, and Christian's parents, and wonder how we got from one generation to the next.

Michael Kors really looks the part during the show in his black scarf and aviator sunglasses.

Pah. Once again personal dramatics (Christian) tops real talent and vision. Three years from now, who do you think will be a success? Exactly. Rami.

Blogging Project Runway #11: Art Inspiration

Well, the penultimate elimination. (I will always be indebted to my awesome AP English teacher for many, many things. Among them is teaching us the words penultimate and antepenultimate.)

Hopefully, this challenge will make sense, and it won't be another novelty thing. This is an elimination challenge of importance, and I don't want to see a bizarre challenge that isn't fair to the designers.

Well, here we go...and we start with loyalty from Chris to his model! Good karma for him.

Whew...axing 2 of the 5 this episode. Heavy.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art. What a dramatic, beautiful setting. Nice change from pro wrestling, though how much did it cost to shut the place down for filming...probably at 5am?

Will Chris choose an Andy Warhol? Oh...can't. Leave it to Christian to be "inspired" by a work of art whose name he can't bother to learn.

The Temple of Dendur at the Met is an awe-inspiring edifice...I'd love to have that room to myself for 15 minutes.

I like Rami. As a person, and a designer.

My idea for a challenge: the "regular guy" challenge. Take five guys out of a bar to serve as judges. The winner is the designer who makes his model "look hot". They have to use a minimal amount of fabric.

After a few hours of work, on the second-to-last challenge, Chris declares the outfit completed. So he's next found snoring on the couch. I like Rami, but I love Chris.

Jillian doesn't want to go back to "working in a cubicle"...how does an assistant in a fashion line do their work in a cubicle?

That Italian designer is a really nice guy...he loves everything and everyone. Well, except for Rami.

What a surprising, and fair ending. It'll be interesting to see what Rami and Chris can do outside their safe zone. A very even-handed decision. Good episode.

Predicted finish:
1. Jillian
2. Christian
3. Chris

Blogging Project Runway #10: Wrestling Costumes

Don't worry...there's no better relief from delegate math than watching designer magic, and major drama.

I think it's cruel to leave the losing outfit of a designer on their mannequin as a testament after they're kicked off. "Hey, here's the piece of crap that so-and-so turned in that got them thrown out." It's loser row.

All right Ricky...finally some loyalty to one's model! (Although Jaclyn was prettier.)

I love how Heidi always asks "Are you ready for the next challenge" at each episode's open, as if they have a choice. I'm sure they've edited out at least one contestant saying a variant of "Hell, no! I'm sick of this 'create an expandable, reversible kimono out of shopping bags in 24 hours' crap! I can't feel my fingers! Give us a day off already!"

Somebody needs to educate Christian on what the word "fierce" means, because I don't think he understands it.

Even the gay guys get hotted up watching lithe women fight and moan.

Pro wrestling costumes! Wow, hilarious...and I mean frakkin' hilarious!! And they're buying fabric at "Spandex House"!! Not necessarily relevant or fair, but hilarious. I think the designers should tussle for immunity in a steel cage match.

I can't believe the size of Spandex House. It must be in the Village.

Tim Gunn is the key to this show. He should anchor the evening news.

The idea of Heidi Klum wrestling a WWE diva wearing black leather and lace in the ring? Ooohhhh....my heart.

Sorry to see Ricky go, but I can't argue with it. A good guy.

We don't get to see the outfit at work in the ring? That's disappointment.

Blogging Project Runway #8: Hairstyles

They will be designing an "avant-garde" (fashionese for: laughably unwearable; a vanity project unsuited to real life) outfit matching each model's kooky hairstyle. It's gonna be an ugly show. I will note that I typed that definition before Tim said it.

I would say of the four crews, this bunch is the least loyal to their models. Shame.

On these team challenges, it's always a team leader that gets the ax. I would never, ever want to be a team leader on this show.

I think it was pretty wicked that they used one of my favorite instruments of all time -- the didgeridoo -- to underline the drama of the "special announcement" that the teams have to gin up a second look with no warning.

I'm starting to suspect that Christian just may be gay.

On the surface of it, this may sound unfair,
If I come right out and say I don't care,
I watch for fashion, sure,
Don't interest in coiffure
So amp up the fashion, forget about the hair.

Good judgment: "It's like Scarlett O'Hara, but it looks cheap."

...and Rami survives by the skin of his teeth. He still makes the best stuff of the group, but I can't say that I like him at all. I have Kevin's personality and Rami's talent.

Blogging Project Runway #6:

The show was on hiatus for so long (I hope there aren't professionals writing this stuff), I forgot about it until my DVR spat forth the most recent episode today. So without further ado...

What a weird field modeling is. Beautiful people are paid not to be beautiful (they must be, however), but are paid to walk nice.

I love how Tim shows up at the apartments at 6am, looking classy and pressed as if it were mid-cocktail party hour. (So then what...he sits downstairs in a suit for an hours while all the contestants shower, dress, and primp?)

Nice choice...it's the 5th day of the New Year and half the audience is trying to diet...so Project Runway features candy. Thanks a bunch!

Oooh...soft-focus human interest feature on a contestant set to soft guitar music.

I've noticed when designers tell each other what they're making, I don't understand the words they're using. A "bolero jacket"? A what interpretation of Gretel?


No (outright or subliminal) ads for Bluefly tonight. Did the contract run out?

Rami and Kevin are the most dependable, tasteful, and consistent designers in the thing. In this competition, that is the description of the person who comes in second (even though Rami won).

Blogging Project Runway #5: Fat women gone skinny

Oooh...a challenge with real people! I love these, because it punctures the insular world where designers make ugly clothes for models, and everyone pretends that the result i beautiful. A challenge where people like what they like, not what they "should" like.

And, right on cure Christian announces "omigod, I'm gonna die". Maybe he's got that phrase copyrighted or something (though it is worth noting that he's cocky with the camera, but appropriately docile and humble before the judges, so he ain't stupid). And Victorya coming like a b-tch. Nice to see the pigeonholing is well underway with the contestants.

Sucks that Jack had to leave, but Chris is awesome. Glad he's back.
I also love the times when Tim Gunn walks into the design room with a "what the hhhhe..... is going on here?" look on his face.

I think Kevin should have won, and clearly he did, too. Ah well -- only one victory counts in this show.

Blogging Project Runway #4

Well, nice to see that we're back to a reasonable challenge, one that I find interesting: turning old trends into something worth looking at again. I liked neon. That was cool.

Christian really greats on me. It's hilarious to see someone with thick-framed glasses and a butchered haircut denouncing old trends. Ten years from now, his current appearance will be as outdated as mustard-colored kitchen appliances. Live by the trend, die by the trend (personally, I stick with the tried-and-true tshirt and jeans). And every week we're greeted with him whining "Oh my God, I'm gonna die." Yes Christian, you are going to die, as are we all.

Raumi again stands out as a phlegmatic personality who seems to have some awareness of reality outside the fashion world, while Victoria is shaping up nicely as this season's b-tch. I wouldn't say Raumi is officially my favorite yet, but he's getting there.

I have no idea what makes collections consistent or not. None whatsoever. I can't disagree with the winner, though I will miss Kevin. He was the only overweight guy on the show,.

Interesting peek at next week's thing. I'm hoping it's fashion for seriously overweight people. Or perhaps Iraq War vets (that would be a feel-good tie-in).

Blogging Project Runway #3

The mysterious new challenge: Menswear for running back Tiki Barber. This is like watching a show about 10 people competing for a slot on the Olympic swimming team, and then having an episode where they have to platform dive.

Of all the guys on this show, would you have guessed that Kevin was the only straight one? Me neither.

I feel for the contestants on this one. This is a bit unrelated -- to use another analogy that I have ripped off of legendary comedian Mitch Hedberg, it's similar to telling decent chefs to go out and farm.

I wouldn't mind getting maybe 3 of those combos (in my size, which would require major alterations). And this show is a good example of why it has to be about women's clothing: pants are pants. There's no real way to do anything adventurous with a suit, and fashion is limited to slightly different colors and a slightly narrower pocket. I'm looking forward to seeing the women's stuff back next week, and seeing a fairer show.

For next season, no people who've been "in the industry for years" -- raw undisciplined talent please. I'm moving toward adopting Raumi as my favorite for this competition.

Blogging Project Runway #2

Episode Two of the best reality show going. Last week they dispatched my initial favorite in favor of a dress that looked like cetacean effluvium. We're promised a "fashion icon" for this week, who will probably be some washed-up C-lister in between rehab stints. Or a corpse or animal or something dumb like that. Huh, it's Sarah Jessica Parker. Not bad.

Funny thing is, two-thirds of the time the models look better on the runway in those little black dresses that the crap they're sent out during the competitions (and I think Lauren is the cutest by a mile).

I love that they give the designer $15 to buy fabric, and then send them to shop at a high-end place? Why not go to, oh, Fabric Place?

Sarah Jessica Parker comes off really well in this episode. Approachable, friendly...frankly more everyday and human that the designers. When Heidi Klum says "everyday woman" you know she means "fat woman".

Hm...I liked the teal dress better than the winning outfit, but what do I know. I am glad they dispatched that burlap sack though...

Blogging Project Runway #1

Guilty pleasures...Christina Aguilera's music...old Dilberts...Project Runway. It amazes me that someone can take a length of fabric, go into a room, and produce an amazing garment. In about the time it takes me to sew on a button.

Season 4 preliminary notes:

• Tim Gunn is the only television fashion person I would trust.
• Heidi Klum is sexier pregnant than Tyra Banks is...anytime.
• Can we not give it to the freak with poor interpersonal skills this season?
• On reality shows, I always end up rooting for the talented woman with the nasty personality (Susan Hawk, Wendy Pepper, Laura Bennett)

We've really gone from a show where undiscovered locals get discovered to a show where D-list designers hope to become A- or B-list designers. That's a disappointment, especially since the ridiculous affectation quota has exploded. I get it--you got a wacky hairstyle and crazier personality, and maybe that'll get you far for ratings' sake, but it doesn't make you more talented or less annoying.

It sticks in my craw that the most prominent show on BravoTV had the fabrics for its first challenge "donated". Drop the cash for the bloody fabric already, and if the fabric store wants to donate something, they can throw some coin at a deserving non-profit.

Half these outfits were basically burqas with a short hem. I don't really know from fashion, but I guess I always thought that clothes are supposed to, y'know, make the wearer look good. Which isn't "chic" according to the judges.

(The most amusing part is the anti-climactic moment of the show after they announce the winner. "Okay, runner-up, you're in but you already knew that. Now get out of here so we can dispatch the loser." )

Final verdict: Elisa's explanation is full of it, and her dress reminded me of a blue whale doing #2. I liked Raumi's gray dress (draping with the flower) and agree that he's the winner. I liked Simone...the only contestant I could imagine talking with as a real person. Oh well.