Tuesday, September 2, 2008

How to mess up a good thing: Bloggers sink Dems on Palin

It seemed like the richest of targets. An incredibly unprepared, unqualified nobody for vice president under John "Odds Are I'll Live" McCain, chosen to the annoyance of the retinues of Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty. A bloggers' dream come true, a one-stop shop for scandal smorgasboard:

  1. Sarah Palin is a woman embroiled in her own ethical scandal
  2. Sarah Palin is advocates for teaching creationism in schools.
  3. Sarah Palin supported the bridge to nowhere earmark.
  4. Sarah Palin , doesn't know or think much about the surge in Iraq
  5. (but she says we started it because of oil)
  6. Sarah Palin started her brief career as a poor small-town mayor.
  7. Sarah Palin doesn't think much of McCain as a presidential candidate.
  8. Sarah Palin underwhelms Alaskan Republicans
  9. Sarah Palin thinks the Pledge of Allegiance was written by the Founding Fathers, and
  10. Sarah Palin , doesn't know what the vice president does.

This, dear friends, is a target-rich environment. So where to start...hmm...where to start.

I know! A ragged, pale conspiracy theory that Palin faked her own pregnancy while governor of Alaska to cover up for her daughter!!!! Cuz it's got sex in it!!!

I'm sorry to any national and local blogger pushing this, but are you trying to hurt the Democratic Party? I've just given you ten awesome tidbits that show who wrong a choice Palin is in isolation, much less in combination. But we're going with a conspiracy theory based on the testimony of anonymous stewardesses, and Us Weekly style examination of photos for a baby bump. How stupid do you really think the entire state of Alaska is...especially the Democratic Party? It ain't all polar bears up there people...I think somebody somewhere would have said something, particularly for the right sum of money. She apparently paid off the enormous medical community of Juneau, fooled every Democratic leader meeting with her, suckered the half of the Alaskan Republican Party that evidently detests her, bamboozled every Alaskan the met her, successfully hid her daughter for a few months, whose friends never said anything...that must have been a realistic prosthesis!

Meanwhile, all this golden stuff that comes when you pick a running mate out of a hat just became old news, out of date, and unexamined because Obama just had to go deviate from his campaign plan to react defensively to the antics of this crew of Matt Drudge fanboys. Nice work, guys.

Oh, great. Just when I think there's already too much muck is out there, the wannabe Richard Mellon Scaifes of the right get to pound on the fact that Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Big deal. Bill Clinton was an atrocious husband but a superlative president, but somehow Sarah Palin won't manage the vice presidency if she isn't an awesome mother? Defeat from the jaws of victory. Oy.

(Cross-posted at BMG)

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