Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Just a matter of time...

If this Democratic race continues much longer, commentators are going to accidentally start saying what they're clearly thinking out loud. On CNN, we'd have a chance at gems such as?

  • "Lotsa chicks voted, so yeah that's good for Hillary."
  • "Why is it always the black voters who take a long time to report? What's the deal with that?"
  • "No matter what happens, this is good for Obama."
  • "I'm a real journalist, and I'm stuck here asking Bill Schneider scripted questions about exit polls. What the hell?" (For Suzanne Malveaux)
  • "Do you have my Metamucil?" (For Carl Bernstein)
  • "Shut up, Wolf."
  • "Let's look at these numbers on this enormous tv we purchased from a defunct minor league baseball stadium."
  • "This is really exci-...ah, screw it. This is boring as hell. We're going to run old episodes of the Three Stooges until we can actually call the thing."
  • "So you're basically saying that Hillary Clinton is the Simon Cowell of this race, and Obama is the Randy Jackson?"
  • "So how much cooler is John McCain than Obama and Clinton?"
  • "Can we talk about Bill Clinton some more? I like talking about Bill Clinton."
  • "I don't know who let that ditzy young girl in the back row, but would someone please turn off her microphone?"
  • "Mississippi? They vote now, using ballots they have to read? They even let the blacks vote now? Wow! This is exciting!"

And so on...

No comments: