Sunday, December 23, 2007

Santa: Democrat or Republican?

A retread from last year at BlueMassGroup:

In the spirit of the season, I'm going to pose the yearly question,and sketch out the exhibits -- is Santa a Republican or a Democrat?
I'll mention some of the more compelling evidence for either side below.

Exhibits for Santa as Republican:

* Wears red.
* Overweight -- clearly lives a comfortable lifestyle.
* Expects gifts (milk and cookies) for doing his job.
* Focuses almost exclusively on Christians.
* Comfortable judging people.
* Relies on exploitative labor.
* Prefers bio-unfriendly wrapping paper.
* Also enjoys decorations centered around a slowly dying tree.
* Lives in the far north (His home may be in Canada, Alaska, or Russia. All subject to conservative government.
* Great marketing.
* White male, likely Christian (just going with the odds here).
* Strongly consumerist.
* Apparent access to lots of coal.

Exhibits for Santa as Democrat:

* Gives people things. Often when not deserved.
* Believes in magic.
* Lead agent of a conspiracy to suck the religion out of Christmas.
* Grants wishes.
* Workaholic.
* Overlooks Rudolph's differences and makes him part of the team.
* Uses bio-fueled transport.
* Possibly unemployed.
* Many appearances in TV and movies -- works in entertainment.

# Has a happy marriage.
# Hangs out in malls, enjoys talking with children.
# Has facial hair.
# Jolly.
# Competent at his job.

So what say you -- and what's your evidence?

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